Sebak.

Hibernation mode di hentikan. Penyebabnya, life must go on. Hari ni boleh di kira dgn 1 jari berapa jam sahaja aku berada di ofis. Dah la datang lambat ke ofis dengan bergayanya pada pukul 10.45am. Hari ini busy mengulang-alik ke HR atas sebab tertentu dan di ofis tidak membuat kerja coding² yang serabut itu langsung. Dan juga hari ini aku terasa terharu yang amat sangat kerana baru aku sangka yang aku exists rupanya di ofis. Terharu dengan rakan² ofis termasuklah "mak tiri" dan "anak tiri (cha ya nun alif) nya" walaupun sebelum ini mereka ada komplot untuk menjatuhkan aku. Mak tiri & anak tiri nya sahaja ok. Terasa diri ini di sayangi di ofis.

Malam ini aku akan bersahur dengan anak² yatim & beberapa orang artis tempatan untuk membuat amal kebajikan sedikit. Walaupun aku terpaksa jadi runner & photographer sahaja. My last task.

Apa² pun, hari ni adalah hari terharu aku.

Thanks for today.

Hibernation mode, on.

Selepas sahur, ya sekali lagi aku terasa benci dan marah kepada diri sendiri. Kadang² terasa marah kepada orang lain & juga persekitaran. Kenapa aku jadi macam ni? Banyak betul kekurangan yang aku ada. Ya, terlampau banyak. Melihat kepada orang lain seems like their life perfect. Betul kalau di katakan "jangan bandingkan diri dengan orang lain" tapi bandingkan benda yang baik tak salah. Dan betul, kita adalah kita dan bukan nya orang lain. Persoalan yang sering popup di kepala & benda yang sama di ulang² terpopup. Kenapa aku tak dapat benda tu? Kenapa aku tak dapat jadi macam tu? Kenapa aku di layan begitu? Kenapa aku tak berjaya macam tu?

Kadang² aku terasa salah orang lain. Yes you! I'm talking about you. Apa? Aku ni tak layak ke jadi macam tu? Atau dalam perkataan english nya "Am i don't deserve that?". Aku ingin kan sesuatu yang dapat membuat aku tersenyum sampai ke telinga setiap hari walaupun senyuman aku tak cantik. Aku terasa down dengan diri sendiri walaupun dalam previous post banyak aku menulis untuk membuat diri aku positive tetapi tak berjaya. Aku tulis tu semua untuk diri aku sendiri dan untuk menanamkan sifat +ve dalam diri tapi seperti tidak berjaya. Bagaimanakah? Kenapakah? Seriously i'm in a down mode.

Lagi satu aku benci, kenapa post aku hari ni jadi macam diari? Ini bukan objektif utama aku untuk menulis blog. Tetapi dengan medium ini sahaja lah aku dapat luah kan. Atleast post kat sini kurang lah sikit 0.00000001%. Bagitau kawan² pun ada yang tak mendatangkan hasil. Bosan dengar lah apa lah. Ahhh.. benci lah! Demit! Dalam tak sampai 10 minit aku dah hisap rokok 3 batang.

Sekali lagi, aku ingin kan sesuatu yang dapat membuat aku tersenyum sampai ke telinga setiap hari.

Hibernation mode, on.

Thanks for today.

Can you?

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go. Hey common la, can you be a lil bit confident for yourself?

Thanks for today.

Heh.. Padan muka!

Ok.. Terbukti sekarang apa yang kau buat tak di hargai. Ya, memang sudah sedia tahu yang kau ikhlas dan tak minta di hargai tapi macam agak sedih jugak la bila kau di buat endah tak endah je. Kesian.. Itu lah lumrah dunia, apa yang di harapkan kebiasaannya tidak menjadi. Bila kau buat ramah tetapi tak di layan, seperti sekarang ini. Sekali lg agak sedih dan sakit hati. Lain kali kau buat bodoh je dengan dia walaupun kami tau yang hati kau berat nak lakukannya kerana kau di lahirkan memang begitu. Sangat menghargai orang dan baik hati walaupun kau tak reti nak tunjuk. Tapi baik hati je tak cukup. One thing to say "Padan Muka!!"

Thanks for today.

That one character.

There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle. When we begin life, we are all given a puzzle . Each one very different, yet special. We share with them a piece of our puzzle and they share a piece of theirs, with us, in return. Meaning that everyone we encounter has a special impact upon our lives, because they have shaped us into what we are today. This is called the puzzle of life. Each puzzle growing and changing throughout our lives, but always becoming better and always having the same foundational pieces. Know that you do make a difference in peoples lives! I thank you for sharing part of your puzzle with me.

Thanks for today.

Think tank.

"There are two ways to make money. Man makes money; money makes money." In other words, work for your money, but then let your money work for you. Remember this! You will lose your money if you chase a women but if you chase money you will not lose women. Successful people do what ordinary people won't. I'm not saying the money is everything, you must remember who is give you that, ALLAH! So think about it & balance it.

p/s: I'm saying this to myself as well. Like a tennis ball. You hit the ball to the wall & it will bounce back to you. That how it is.

Thanks for today.

Capitulate.

Ok.. I think I'm capitulate to you. Day by day keep raising the same question to me all over again. I'm kinda sick of it. Not engrossed with me but you. White flag raised & I'm not fuming but I'm pleased.

Thanks for today.

Absence.

She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. Her mellow voice that tender the warm heart. Her laugh would shiver the oceanic crust. The slit of her eyes could be a shadow in a dreams.

Thanks for today.

The wall of mine.

How to build the bridges instead of wall inside of me. Every man must decide whether he will walk in the creative light of altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. If i'm deny be devoted to, this is given to me; if i refuse to give, because i fear the pain of loss; then my lives will be empty, my loss greater.

Thanks for today.

Big jaw.

Big jaw makes the helmet's designer job more easier. Big jaw makes Jude law look like a poodle. Big jaw makes a Peyton give u a kiss before she's capitulate itself to you. Big jaw makes blusher seems useless. Attractive, unique, charming, and of course makes a face seems immense than a typical oval one.

Thanks for today.

Think about it.

Struggle makes a person more handsome & handsome makes the person gain attention which lead to another level of struggling~struggle to cope with a lots lots lots lots lots of penis teasing!!!

Thanks for today.

p/s: the root is struggle, so do struggle guys!

The age factor.

Benci & getik. 2 words to describe that person. Kenapa dgn kita mcm kerek semacam je. Padahal dah lama kenal. Dengan org baru kenal tak de lak macam tu. Dengan kawan 'senegerian' monyet dia baik je walaupun dikutuk lagi pedas. Oh,mungkin telah sampai tahap cinta agung dgn monyet dia maka dia jadi begitu. Takpe la kalau macam tu. Dia pilih bulu, pilih kasih, pilih jejak kasih, pilih kawan, pilih kote, dll. Takpe lah. Aku anggap dia nothing pun dalam hidup aku. Takde kepentingan, tak lawa just knowledge dia tinggi je. Tapi knowledge tinggi pun kalau perangai tak semegah mana tak guna jugak. So why bother. Hee...

p/s: why is lately i'm being so emotional, PMS, full of hate & too sensitive? maybe usia yang sudah lanjut kot.

Thanks for today.

The content.

Thief, robber, shoplifter, bugler or whatever name that you call in the same page... From now on, I think this is my ambition. Like robin hood & Dillinger. Looks cool aite? The style, the idea, the motif & objective. I'm gonna rob a bank! A bank that full of intention that i love to steal from. That bank is my desire, my dream, my aim, my goal & wish to be my assets. It is my goal now. Must work hard on it.

Thanks for today.

Shining.

You can turn off the sun, but I'm still going to shine. So i can shine the light on all of my friends. To bring up the spirit & glory to all. I maybe skinny at times but fat full of rhymes. Will prove it to ya!

Thanks for today.

Orphaned beach.

Just like a desert, they chafe the skin, an empty room, an orphaned beach, dehydrated, hot beneath the feat. Wish that there were a waterfall, fountain, playground so that there will be the water for thirst & the happiness. Is it there’s a door to it? If I open the door, what will be next?

Thanks for today.

4:30.

Hari ini, mood aku yg ceria untuk bekerja & meneruskan hari ini sekali lagi telah terbantut pada pukul 4:30pm. Mood telah bertukar menjadi garang, tidak se-happy siang tadi, marah & sikap -ve mula menyelubungi diri. Agak nya nak datang period la kot. Balik kerja agak awal dari selalu kerana emosi tak terkawal. Menaiki bini hitamku dan membawa nya perlahan² sambil fikiran melayang² tah kemana. Memikirkan tentang kejadian tadi. Tak pe lah. Ada hikmah. Sampai kerumah dan membuat panggilan telefon, mood aku telah berubah sedikit menjadi ceria. Dan mungkin akan lebih ceria pada pukul 10pm++ nanti.

Thanks for today.

Subject to handicap lovers' guidelines

I stand here before u, scarred n naked, never over, will it ever. I just run, stolen footsteps but for how long? Cant tell u how far before i fall in your arms, before your lips i succumb, to your touch in your dreams.

......

Keletihan, otak kepenatan, mata kelesuan, kaki jem, di curi, di rompak, ada pencuri/perompak, bercampur sedikit happy.

Persoalan.

Kenapa sesuatu yang kita ingin kan kebiasaan nya tidak dapat di penuhi? Kenapa kehendak/keperluan kita selalu nya tidak di tunai kan? Kenapa seseorang yang kita perlukan pergi meninggalkan kita? Kenapa seseorang yang kita hajati/inginkan tidak kita dapat atau terlepas dari kita kepada seseorang yang kita kenal? Kenapa seseorang yang kita minat itu tidak meminati kita tetapi sahabat kita sendiri? Kenapa sesuatu yang kita buat selalu nya di pandang serong atau tidak kena di mata manusia lain? Kenapa bila kita membuat kesilapan tetapi manusia menghina & menyalahkan kita 100% dan bukannya memperbetulkan kesilapan dengan menunjuk ajar? Kenapa itu? Kenapa ini? Kenapa begitu? Kenapa begini? Berfikirlah.

p/s: not related at all with the author or friends. just randomly thinking.

Thanks for today.

I don't get it.

Why do we need politics? What I mean is “office politics”. I do hate it. I know that at the root of office politics is the issue of manipulation which can happen in any relationship which one or more parties involved use indirect means to achieve their gold. Do you guys happy when you see your colleague suffer from it? I bet you happy with it. And thanks to you coz I’m the one who is the victim of this fucking office politics. I’ll counter it back fuckers!!

Thanks for today.